just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
