His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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