I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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