Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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