My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
