he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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