Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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