i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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