Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
