Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
