So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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