Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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