i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
