then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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