i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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