If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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