On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
