i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
