I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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