yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
