Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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