how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
should my penis look like a turkey
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
