with your own penis?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
