If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
