My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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