you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
