At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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