I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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