she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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