don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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