Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
