i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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