I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
