This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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