I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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