Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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