She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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