I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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