Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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