I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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