Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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