Its about making memories worth repressing
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
