Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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