I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
