i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
