I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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