If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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