did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
