everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
