I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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