I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
you never un-have a 4some
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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