Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
3pm strippers are depressing
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
