If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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