So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He is an equal opportunity slut.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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