Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
