I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
