Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
