be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
