you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
