I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize