I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
