how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
