Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ttyl tear gas
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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