I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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